A Wee Update

Hello everyone!

It would be amazing if anyone is still reading this after how neglectful I've been to this blog!

It has been quite hectic this last month. I ended my second clinical of acute care physical therapy and the very next day, I flew out to the St. Ignatius Retreat House in Ridgefield, CT for a 5 day silent women's retreat. (Yes, we were actually fairly close to the tragic school shootings when they occurred. That retreat and the shootings showed me, in different ways, the very real presence of the prince of this world amongst us). It was my first Ignatian retreat and I had my very first General Confession on this retreat. It was an absolutely wonderful experience and I will definitely do a post about it soon!

This retreat house was a former Jesuit retreat house, then an American Seminary for the SSPX, and then in 1987, it became an Ignatian retreat house.

Wedding planning has been moving at a faster rate of late. We finally have a solid date (July 6, 2013), the church where the Nuptial Mass will be is finally settled, and our venue for the reception has been booked! Hurray!

St. Stanislaus, Milwaukee, WI

Now comes the task of obtaining addresses, getting the wedding dress altered, settling on bridesmaid dresses (so difficult!), and all the other various and sundry details!

I love the elegance of this dress

I love 50s style dresses

Anthony's sister, Mary, generously offered to make our cake, which is super exciting! You can see some cakes she has made in the past here! She is immensely talented and should open her own shop!

In any case, I hope to give you all a more substantial post soon!

Anthony and I wish everyone a blessed Christmas and a joyous New Year!

The Adoration of the Child, 1518

Antonio Allegri da Correggio

With Love and Prayers,

Andrea Rose

My favorite title of Mary: Mystical Rose
Link to photo

St. Catherine of Siena

G'day to you all!

On my hour and a half train commutes to and from my clinical, I have been able to accomplish more leisurely reading than I have been able to do in a long time! I suppose I could be using the commute to study, but, well, after eight or nine hours of physical therapy related work, I relish the down time.

One of the books I have been working my way through is Catherine of Siena by Sigrid Undset, a Norwegian novelist who converted to Roman Catholicism in 1924.

Anthony has highly recommended Kristin Lavransdatter by the same author, which is currently on my "to read" list.

Sigrid Undset

This book really develops the personality of St. Catherine, her family, and the devout friends and religious who aided her throughout her life. The book also puts her in the context of the tumultuous events happening in the world and in the Church at that time. St. Catherine demonstrated such a beautiful balance of tenderness and directness during her life. She had been content to spend her life solitude and constant prayer in her small cell, but God eventually called her to perform His work in the world, requiring constant contact with some of the most prominent political and religious leaders of the time.

Although this manner of life was not necessarily her desire, she was so completely focused on God's will and decided to create a "cell" within herself. In this way, she could have interior peace whilst in the midst of a materialistic world filled with pride, hate, and envy. It is this type of interior cell I pray to develop in my own life as well.

Interestingly, I never realized that St. Catherine was not a nun! She was a part of St. Dominic's third order, the Sisters and Brothers of Penitence. The history of this group at the time is thoroughly described in the book.

Sigrid Undset has quite a way with imagery, as well as with taking the writings of St. Catherine and putting them into context. While describing part of the contents of the Dialogue, which represent the dialogue of St. Catherine's soul with God in a state of ecstasy, Undset intertwines the creation of the Dialogue so expertly with its content. Undset mentions that St. Catherine often uses a bridge symbol in these writings in many different manners.

St. Catherine of Siena Dictating Dialogue

The description below is one of my favorites found in the book by Undset:

But when Adam rebelled against God the old royal road which led innocent man from earth to heaven was destroyed. An abyss opened between the two kingdoms, and through this abyss runs a dark and tumultuous river ---all the unreal, fleeting things to which mankind's contorted desire aspires. For we cannot live without desire; our soul's actions are desire, holy or unholy. So when mankind had rebelled against God it immediately rebelled against itself; the flesh rebelled against the spirit and mankind drowned in the dark and bitter waters of sin. Because these waters lack solidity, none can live in them without drowning. These waters are the joys and honours of this world: in all eternity they stream past and are carried away in the current. Man thinks it is the things he loves which float, but in reality it is he himself who is swept by the stream towards the end of his life. He would like to stop, to keep hold of this life and the things he loves, so that they are not washed out of his reach. He reaches out blindly to whatever he happens to touch, but he cannot tell the difference between the valuable and the valueless. Then comes death and takes him from all he loves, or Providence takes a hand, and even before his death he may be robbed of all his beloved worldly treasures. And because he has run after unreality he has followed the way of lies and is the child of the devil who is the Father of Lies. And so he is carried forward to the gates of lies and eternal damnation.

God made a bridge over this abyss when He gave the world His Son. For God, who created us without our having anything to do with it, demands of us that we should work with Him for our salvation...

St. Catherine knew what in this life held true value. 

I really love the imagery of the flowing waters and the bridge created by God in order to repair what we had undone and which requires us to actively cross it in order to reach Him.

A continuation of the analogy is the manner in which the soul steps onto the bridge.

The soul steps onto the bridge by three steps. Sometimes, according to her [Catherine], the steps mean the three grades of intimacy with Christ, which are also expressed by the kiss on His feet, the kiss on the wound in His side and the kiss on His mouth.

St. Catherine of Siena was given such a profound and overwhelming understanding of the love of God which she manifested in her words and actions.

Mystic Marriage of Saint Catherine of Siena by Clemente de Torres, c. 1700

I highly recommend this book to come to better know this brave and loving soul who turned her entire being and will over to God. My description of the book in no way does it justice!

And now, as St. Catherine signed her letters (and she dictated many of them!), I shall sign mine.

Sweet Jesus, Jesus Love,

Andrea Rose

Betrothal Ceremony

'Allo everyone!

Sorry for the bit of delay in blog material! Life has been busy for the both of us of late. My internship keeps me occupied from 5:30am until I arrive back home at 7:00pm or 8:00pm! Anthony's also been quite occupied with work himself as well as his many writing projects.

September 30th, 2012 Anthony and I had our engagement blessed through a betrothal ceremony by Fr. John Richetta. Although not a requirement of the Church, we thought it would be wonderful to have the extra graces during this period of engagement! I have included the general outline of the Engagement Ceremony at the very end of this post.

And here are some photos from the day!

During the Engagement Ceremony

With Father Richetta

With my Nana

With my Parents who did so much to make it such a special day! 

(It's times like these we really wish Anthony's family was closer!)

My Aunt took some beautiful photos of us afterwards.

With the Holy Family

We also have our engagement announcement in the paper! 

In other news we recently made a trip to The Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe for the Traditional Catholic wedding of two wonderful people. If you haven't visited the Shrine yet, I would highly recommend putting it on your list! The High Mass was breathtaking, the reception elegant, the food delicious (not surprising since the groom is a chef), and the entertainment delightful.

On our way walking up to the Shrine. It's about a ten minute walk up a beautiful path through trees and religious statues. There is an outdoor Stations of the Cross and Rosary Walk. Inside the church, you can see many side altars with relics of various Saints. 

I was able to meet Anthony's sister-in-law (who was the matron of honor) and her eight month old son for the first time (it was actually the first time Anthony had met his nephew as well!). It is really great being able to meet more and more of Anthony's family since they're so spread out! I am so grateful for the family that helped make Anthony who he is and I couldn't be marrying into a more faithful, devout and fun family!

Well that's all for the time being!

Please keep us in your prayers! There are many items yet to fall into place for our wedding!

Best wishes and God bless,

Andrea

Engagements--In Church

by Chester Wrzaszczak

NOTE: This article was written while the old Code of Canon Law was in effect. Canon 1062 of the new Code states: A promise of marriage, whether unilateral or bilateral, called an engagement, is governed by the particular law which the Episcopal Conference has enacted, after consideration of such customs and civil laws as may exist. While there is no obligation to have a betrothal ceremony some Catholics may desire to do so. This article is provided to offer suggestions for those interested in becoming engaged in church.

An age-old and excellent engagement ceremony is found in Father Weller's translation of the Roman Ritual.¹ The Queen's Work reproduces the rite in a pamphlet published by this writer under the title: Your Engagement Should Be in Church,² as does the Catholic University in the author's doctoral dissertation: The Betrothal Contract in the Code of Canon Law.³

In the Oriental Church, both the contract and the ceremony have been ordinary practice for centuries. Recent codification of Eastern marriage legislation specifically treats of solemn espousals in canons six and seven of the newly codified oriental law.⁴

Betrothment Defined

From Roman law sources, espousals were always understood as "the mention and promise of future marriage."⁵ Pope Nicholas I defined them as "pacts of promise of future marriage."⁶ The Code of Canon Law today regards betrothals as either bilateral or unilateral contracts, accordingly as they are mutually agreed on by both parties or made by one and accepted by the other party.⁷ St. Thomas referred to the engagement as a "quasi-sacramental."⁸

The Engagement Ceremony

Officially speaking, there is no prescribed ritual for betrothals. Since, however, the engagement is so closely allied with the Sacrament of Matrimony, it is most fitting that it take place in church, preferably at the communion railing. Because Father Weller includes the ceremony in his translation of the Roman Ritual, it would be wise to adopt it. The Holy See does not permit the introduction of any new liturgical ceremonies on private authority. The ceremony is as follows:

1. The priest (vested in surplice and white stole) with his assistants (vested in surplice) awaits the couple at the communion table. At hand are the stoup with holy water and the altar missal. As the man and woman come forward with the two witnesses they have chosen, the following antiphon and psalm are sung on the eighth psalm tone:

Antiphon: To the Lord I will tender my promise: in the presence of all His people.

Psalm 126

Unless the house be of the Lord's building, in vain do the builders labor.

Unless the Lord be the guard of the city, 'tis in vain the guard keeps his sentry.

It is futile that you rise before daybreak, to be astir in the midst of darkness,

Ye that eat the bread of hard labor; for He deals bountifully to His beloved while they are sleeping.

Behold, offspring result from God's giving, a fruitful womb the regard of His blessing.

Like arrows in the hand of the warrior, are children begotten of a youthful father.

Happy the man who has filled therewith his quiver; they shall uphold him in contending at the gate with his rival.

Glory be to the Father and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit.

As it was in the beginning, is now, and forever, through endless ages. Amen.

Antiphon: To the Lord I will tender my promise: in the presence of all His people.

2. The priest now addresses them:

Allocution

Beloved of Christ: It is in the dispensation of Divine Providence that you are called to the holy vocation of marriage. For this reason, you present yourselves today before Christ and His Church, before His sacred minister and the devout people of God, to ratify in solemn manner the engagement bespoken between you. At the same time you entreat the blessing of the Church upon your proposal, as well as the earnest supplications of the faithful here present, since you fully realize that what has been inspired and guided by the will of your heavenly Father requires equally His grace to be brought to a happy fulfillment. We are confident that you have given serious and prayerful deliberation to your pledge of wedlock; moreover, that you have sought counsel from the superiors whom God has placed over you. In the time that intervenes, you will prepare for the sacrament of matrimony by a period of virtuous courtship, so that when the happy and blessed day arrives for you to give yourselves irrevocably to each other, you will have laid a sound spiritual foundation for long years of godly prosperity on earth and eventual blessedness together in the life to come. May the union you purpose one day to consummate as man and wife be found worthy to be in all truth a sacramental image and reality of the union of Christ and His beloved Bride, the Church. This grant, thou Who livest and reignest, God, forever and evermore.

R. Amen.

3. The priest now bids the couple to join their right hands, while they repeat after him the following:

The man:

In the name of our Lord, I, N.N., promise that I will one day take thee, N.N., as my wife, according to the ordinances of God and holy Church. I will love thee even as myself. I will keep faith and loyalty to thee, and so in thine necessities aid and comfort thee; which things and all that a man ought to do unto his espoused I promise to do unto thee and to keep by the faith that is in me.

The woman:

In the name of our Lord, I, N.N., in the form and manner wherein thou hast promised thyself unto me, do declare and affirm that I will one day bind and oblige myself unto thee, and will take thee, N.N„ as my husband. And all that thou hast pledged unto me I promise to do and keep unto thee, by the faith that is in me.

4. Then the priest takes the two ends of his stole and in the form of a cross places them over the clasped hands of the couple. Holding the stole in place with his left hand, he says: I bear witness of your solemn proposal and I declare you betrothed. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. As he pronounces the last words, he sprinkles them with holy water in the form of a cross.

5. Thereupon he blesses the engagement ring:

V. Adjutorium nostrum in nomine Domini.

R. Qui fecit caelum et terram.

V. Domine, exaudi orationem meam.

R. Et clamor meus ad te veniat.

V. Dominus vobiscum.

R. Et cum spiritu tuo.

Oremus: Omnipotent Deus, creator et conservator humani generis, ac largitor aeternae salutis, permitte digneris Spiritum sanctum Paraclitum super hunc annulum. Per Dominum nostrum Jesum Christum, Filium tuum: Qui tecum vivit et regnat in unitate Spiritus Sancti Deus, per omnia saecula saeculorum.

R. Amen.

Et aspergatur aqua benedicta.

V. Our help is in the name of the Lord.

R. Who made heaven and earth.

V. O Lord, hear my prayer.

R. And let my cry come unto thee.

V. The Lord be with you.

R. And with thy spirit.

Let us pray:

O God Almighty, Creator and preserver of the human race, and the Giver of everlasting salvation, deign to allow the Holy Spirit, the Consoler to come with His blessing upon this ring. Through our Lord, Jesus Christ, thy Son, who liveth and reigneth with thee in the unity of the Holy Spirit God, for endless ages.

R. Amen.

The ring is sprinkled with holy water.

6. The man takes the ring and places it first on the index finger of the left hand of the woman, saying: In the name of the Father, (then on the middle finger, adding): and of the Son; (finally placing and leaving it on the ring finger, he concludes): and of the Holy Spirit.

7. The priest opens the missal at the beginning of the Canon, and presents the page imprinted with the crucifixion to be kissed first by the man and then by the woman.

8. If Mass does not follow (or even if Mass is to follow, if he deems it opportune), the priest may read the following passages from Sacred Scripture:

Tobias 7:8

Tobias said: I will not eat nor drink here this day, unless thou first grant me my petition, and promise to give me Sara thy daughter… The angel said to Raguel: Be not afraid to give her to this man, for to him who feareth God, is thy daughter due to be his wife; therefore another could not have her… And Raguel taking the right hand of his daughter, he gave it unto the right hand of Tobias, saying: The God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob be with you, and may He join you together, and fulfill His blessing in you. And taking paper they made a writing of the marriage. And afterwards they made merry, blessing God… Then Tobias exhorted the virgin, and said to her: Sara, arise, and let us pray to God today, and tomorrow, and the next day; because for these three nights we are joined to God; and when the third night is over, we will be in our own wedlock. For we are children of saints, and must not be joined together like heathens that know not God. So they both arose, and prayed earnestly both together that health might be given them.

R. Thanks be to God.

John 15:4-12

At that time, Jesus said to His disciples: Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, unless it abide in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same beareth much fruit; for without me you can do nothing. If any one abide not in me, he shall be cast forth as a branch, and shall wither, and they shall gather him up, and cast him into the fire, and he burneth. If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, you shall ask whatever you will, and it shall be done unto you. In this is my Father glorified; that you bring forth very much fruit, and become my disciples. As the Father hath loved me, I also have loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you shall abide in my love; as I also have kept my Father's commandments, and do abide in His love. These things I have spoken to you, that my joy be in you, and your joy may be filled. This is my commandment, that you love one another, as I have loved you.

R. Praise be to thee, O Christ!

9. Lastly, the priest extends his hands over the heads of the couple and says:

May God bless your bodies and your souls. May He shed His blessing upon you as He blessed Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. May the hand of the Lord be upon you, may He send His holy Angel to guard you all the days of your life. Amen. Go in peace!

Competency Of Bishops And Pastors

Except for the "local ordinary" (the bishop and the vicar-general), only the pastor is officially competent to witness a betrothal contract.¹³ Delegation to another priest, even the assistant in the parish, is disallowed in code law.¹⁴ However, any priest may act as a private witness, provided another private witness signs the contract with him, lay or clerical.¹⁵

In the absence of positive legislation, any priest may likewise assist at the liturgical ceremony described above, since the ritual is not mandatory.¹⁶

Advantages Of The Engagement

Priests would do well to encourage a Solemn Betrothal and discourage marriage, if possible, when:

1. Military service will separate the groom from his bride very shortly after, if not before, the marriage. An engagement in church will insure fidelity and a partner (to a degree at least) without the inexorable and permanent effects produced by matrimony.

2. Pursuit of higher education is contemplated by one or both of the contractants. Experience points to the hardships, material and moral, accompanying student husbands, wives and parents.

3. Immaturity, emotional, physical and moral, present in either or both parties. The engagement can serve as a useful period conducive to the necessary growth of the still infantile and puerile couple.

4. Uncertainty and vacillation experienced by either party in regard to the choice of consort, the willingness to assume the burdens of the married state here and now, or the like.

5. Well grounded fears harbored by any of the parties, the pastor and parents included, about the outcome and success of the marriage.

There is much to be gained and little to be lost by an engagement--in church.

Chester Wrzaszczak

Endnotes

1 The Roman Ritual, translated by Weller (Milwaukee: Bruce), I, 583-593.

2 Chester Wrzaszczak, Your Engagement Should be in Church (St Louis: The Queen's Work), pp. 22-29.

3 Chester Wrzaszczak, The Betrothal Contract in the Code of Canon Law (Washington, D. C.: CUA Press), pp. 154-159.

4 Canon 6, # 1: "The promise of marriage, even though bilateral, or in the nature of a mutual espousal, is null in both fora, unless made before

5 Momsen, Digesta Iustiana Augusti (Berlin), I, 656, n. 1.

6 Responsa, ad Consulta Bulgarum, C. III (Paris: Mansi), XV, 402.

7 Canon 1017, # 1.

8 Suppl. q. 43, art. 1, ad 6.

I Just Couldn't "Skirt" the Issue of Modesty!

I have now gone over a year wearing skirts and dresses the majority of the time! Of course there are those times where practicality calls for pants, but I have really enjoyed the challenge of finding all the different activities I can pull off in a skirt!

Contemplating the inner workings of a bell...a dumbbell that is!

For a few years now, I had been searching and searching for what Catholic modesty entailed. It’s a hard subject to find a clear answer to! Where does one draw the line? I wanted to find a clear answer of “wear this” and “don’t wear that.” Unfortunately, it wasn’t that easy.

A particularly versatile green skirt I love!

Of course growing up I was always taught to wear modest dresses and skirts for Mass or in the Real Presence, but I wanted to find the “rules” that told me what to wear during the day to day goings ons! I found very general guidelines for modesty, but I kept coming across too many items when shopping that made me wonder. I wanted black and white, but all I could see were gray areas. The gray areas became hard, especially when attending a public high school. As a self conscious teenager, I often tried to balance being Catholic with blending into secular culture. My Mother played a huge part in guiding me through that often treacherous fashion field and I am so thankful now for all the clothing pieces she kept me from wearing!

My sisters and I on the grounds of the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe in La Crosse, WI.

One of the factors in changing over to skirts completely was meeting a young Protestant girl in my physical therapy class who solely wore skirts and dresses. She would change into some modest capris for our lab classes, but often brought a change of clothes for after the lab while the rest of us would usually just go to our next classes in our dressed down sweats and tees. And her clothes were not frumpy or homely. They were beautiful and stylish!

A hat can dress up any outfit!

It made me start thinking more of how this Protestant girl was able to subtly and classily get across the point that her beliefs on modesty and the feminine nature affected the way she dressed. I wondered: since Catholicism is contains the fullness of the Truth, and since our secular culture has deviated so far from any concept of modesty, shouldn’t Catholics have a clear standard of dress that emphasized modesty?

I researched articles and books and I didn’t really find anything recent regarding the topic until I came across Dressing with Dignity by Colleen Hammond. Although I had thoughts here and there about integrating more skirts on a daily basis, a few weeks after reading this book I decided that due to my personality, it was going to be all or none. So I decided to ditch the pants as completely as I could manage and just wear skirts.

Fun accessorizing with a shawl!

Now being in physical therapy school did not make this easy. We often had labs where pants were the more appropriate and practical attire for modesty’s sake. But instead of staying in my sweats all day, I decided to start bringing along a change of clothes as well.

My dear friend and I dressed up for a fun a photo shoot!

I also have a men’s Schwinn road bike that I like to ride (it had been a gift from my Dad to my Mom when they were dating!). Due to the bar being higher, I had to problem solve the best and modest way to ride it! I enjoyed the challenge! I decided to fasten wooden clothespins to the bar in order to clip my skirt down. Then I also bought some bike capris to put on under my skirt while riding. Problem solved! Of course I had to dabble in the length of skirt, and the knee length skirts worked the best since I didn’t have a chain guard (I learned the hard way a couple of times with my longer flowing skirts!).

Artistic photo courtesy of Anthony! 

I found I could easily play volleyball in a skirt. I’ve thrown footballs and softballs, gardened, hiked, attended baseball games, riden roller coasters, interned as a physical therapy student, and even braved an entire Wisconsin winter in skirts! I realized that, with a little creativity, one could perform most activities in a skirt.

Skirts have helped me to remind myself of the feminine nature God gave me. Sometimes I find myself reverting to the tomboyish mannerisms of my youth such as sitting in an unsightly manner or acting coarsely. Well, skirts have often been a subtle reminder to me to act and speak more like a lady.

I also have less trouble finding skirts that fit me! With my particular waist and hip proportions, I can remember crying while pant shopping because I could not seem to find anything that fit properly! Now, with many of the skirt styles I like, I only have to worry about my waist size. I have found so many more beautiful skirt and dress options and I thoroughly enjoy shopping for them!

I am a big fan of boots! I'm so excited for Fall!

The line of modesty with skirts and dresses seems more black and white to me as well. Of course there are immodest skirts and dresses. However, I feel like there are more modest options out there in the realm of dresses and skirts than in the pants world. 

Sailing in a dress is quite relaxing!

There are times when choosing a pair of pants seems like it would be so much easier to coordinate with a certain shirt or shoes. Sometimes, pants seem like to more comfortable (or warmer!) option. However, taking the time to thoughtfully dress my part as a woman has taught me discipline and it also makes me feel more put together and pretty! Wearing a skirt can make a girl feel pretty and feminine even while exercising on a 30 mile bike ride!

Fifteen miles into the bike ride!

One of the rules I try to follow when dressing for the day is that I should not be ashamed to enter a church and the Presence of Our Lord in anything that I am wearing. I understand that there are different types of dress for different occasions and I have no issue of pants when it truly is the most practical and modest option for a task (honestly though, most skirts can be made modest through some additions), but I can remember day to day clothing I have worn in the past where I would have felt too embarrassed by my outfit to enter a Catholic church. I figure, since we know not the time or the hour, I want to die confident that my dress would be pleasing to Him. I strive my dress to reflect the fullness of the female human being He had created and for Him to know I intentionally thought of Him above all else in the dress I had chosen for that day. 

A beautiful skirt a friend of mine made for me. And it has pockets!

I am so elated God has blessed me with a man loves to see me in skirts! (and headscarves for that matter! But that's a topic for another blogpost!)

He is quite the catch!

A Reverent Ordinary Form Mass

I headed out of town early this morning to try to make it to confession at St. Norbert's in Roxbury. St. Norbert's is a parish staffed with priests from the Society of Jesus Christ the Priest, a Spanish society which celebrates both the ordinary and extraordinary forms of the mass. There's been a lot of controversy in the Diocese of Madison because Bishop Morlino brought these priests in to several parishes, where they proceeded to get rid of altar girls and lay eucharistic ministers, institute an extraordinary form mass, and insist on such backwards and reactionary concepts as the intrinsic evil of contraception, the teaching that one must be in the state of grace to receive communion, and the idea that we actually do have souls that actually do need saving. The biggest complaint against them seems to be that, because they emphasize Catholic teaching, they are "short on compassion." (It's never fun to have someone tell us that our behavior is wrong, is it?)

Anyway, I've been to the daily extraordinary form mass at St. Norbert's many times. Not as often as I should, though, because St. Norbert's is 35 to 40 minutes away and the mass is at 6:30 in the morning. This morning I took the lazy route, and rather than go to mass and then wait until confessions afterwards, I left late in order just to make it to confessions. Unfortunately, there had been a schedule change, and the 8:00 ordinary form mass had been moved forward to 7:30, just after I arrived. Confessions were either canceled or moved earlier, too; anyway, I got there too late. But since mass was starting I decided to stay. I knew that the priest would say a very reverent mass, and I was curious to see what the ordinary form was like when it was said by such good priests. Also, I didn't want to pass up a chance to receive communion.

It was, by far, the most reverent ordinary form mass that I have ever been to. The priest came out in traditional vestments and spoke the English (the new translation, thank goodness!) simply and clearly and without trying to "perform" it. There was no terrible folk music, and there were no lay ministers and no one batted an eyelash when I knelt for communion with my hands tucked beneath the rail. It was a marked contrast to the other ordinary form masses I have been to (one of which I came away from sincerely doubting that I had really received Our Lord in communion). But it still struck me as being watered down, a "lite" version of what it should be.

To explain why, I think I'll have to describe the extraordinary form first so I can contrast it. In the extraordinary form, the priest and the congregation face the same direction, towards the altar. The priest leads the congregation in the sacrifice of the mass, offering to the Father the once-for-all sacrifice of Calvary which is made present again on the altar. The congregation joins itself to the sacrifice. It is at once a communal act — we are united in offering Christ to His Father — and a deeply intimate, individual, prayerful one. It is difficult to describe the feeling. There is a peaceful solemnity as the priest speaks directly to God in quiet Latin. We follow along with these prayers and join ourselves to them. The focus is on God. We know that we are dealing with the profound, with something, someone infinitely higher than ourselves. It is not a belittling feeling, because we know that God is condescending to lower Himself to us, and is encouraging us to raise ourselves toward Him. The atmosphere is one of humility and hope, of wonder and a deep sense of connection to the Divine. It becomes an intensely personal and intimate union between creature and Creator, reaching is peak when we receive Him, Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity, in communion.

In the ordinary form, the sacrifice is still there, and Jesus is still truly present in the Eucharist. But the mass seems to want to turn our attention away from that. The priest faces the congregation, and everything he says is spoken loudly and directed towards us. There are many points where the congregation speaks a response. It begins to feel more like the priest is speaking to us than to God.

My impression is that the ordinary form demands less of me. The extraordinary form requires that I pay attention, that I follow along in my missal with what the priest is doing, and that I make the effort to participate through prayer in the sacrifice being enacted. The ordinary forms asks me only to sit back and listen, and to respond when necessary. Listen-and-respond strikes me as more passive than follow-along-and-pray. 

The communal aspect of the extraordinary form is one of being united in doing something. The communal aspect of the ordinary form feels more like "we are united to, well, be united." The focus is more on our communal union itself than on why that union exists. My attempts to reach a place of intimate, personal conversation with God was foiled by the many interruptions where I was expected to speak a response along with the rest of the congregation; there was never a period of quiet prayer and contemplation. I felt less like I had participated in the sacrifice of the mass and more like I had attended some kind of social prayer meeting. It is rather ironic that the very things meant to encourage active participation in the mass — the priest facing the people and more congregational responses — diminished my feeling of participation.

I think that when we hear about the importance of active participation it is important to ask, what are we participating in? If it is a gathering, a meal, then sure, we'd want everyone to be facing everyone else and everyone talking. But if it's a sacrifice, a prayer, then we want to be focused on God and on the sacrificial reality being enacted. The participation then is the union of each person to this sacrifice, and the communal aspect is all the prayers of all these souls rising together to God. I always feel deeply engaged and an active participant in the extraordinary form mass, even if I never say a word from the time I enter the church until I leave it. I have yet to feel that way in an ordinary form mass.

One more thing. All the times I've been to the extraordinary form daily mass at St. Norbert's, there have been many young people there, including many young families. It has always been inspiring to see the young mothers and their children kneeling in quiet prayer at 6:30 in the morning. Young single people attend as well. At the ordinary form mass — which, remember, is usually celebrated at 8:00, not 6:30 — there was only one person there besides me who was younger than fifty, and there were less people there overall than I am used to seeing at the extraordinary form mass. I think young Catholics, at least those who care about their Faith, are more attracted to the traditional ways of the Church.

Young Catholics today tend to do one of two things: lose the faith, or become more traditional. Those young Catholics who disagree with Church teachings don't see any reason to remain Catholic. Why would they stay in a Church that they see as behind the times, oppressive, patriarchal, homophobic, and all the other epithets tossed around these days? They lack whatever lingering brand loyalty or sentimental attachment keeps their parents showing up every Sunday despite ignoring and even actively dissenting from the teachings of the Church. But those young Catholics who see the Church as the means which Christ established to guide and nourish souls want their tea a bit stronger. They are not satisfied with a watered down Catholicism which tries to hide itself and speaks no thing clearly. They want a Catholicism that presents the reality which it possesses as clearly and truthfully as possible. They don't want to be coddled, to have their consciences assuaged, or to have the sacrifice of the mass reduced to a community get-together. They want all the spiritual riches that the Church has to offer. They want their Catholic identity to mean something again.

The Simple, Innocent Pleasures in Life

One concept that Anthony has helped to enhance in my life is the necessity of enjoying and focusing on the simple, innocent pleasures of life. Our current world stresses that to really enjoy oneself, one needs to spend money on big thrills, quick rushes, expensive vacation spots, material items and constant over stimulation. 

Well, here are some fun alternatives!: 

• Reading good books together accompanied by cups of tea, hot chocolate, or espresso (or even better, ask your better half to read the book to you! I have enjoyed many hours listening to Anthony read Don Camillo, Cheaper by the Dozen, Lord of the Rings, and the Cul-du-sac comics)

"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me." ~ C.S. Lewis

• Going for a midnight stroll (the air is so still and the atmosphere so peaceful!)

"I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light." ~ Helen Keller

• Stargazing (there are great iPod apps out there now for this!)

"Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

• Playing board games or cards (see our sidebar of games that we will periodically update!)

"One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island, because people always answer "a deck of cards" or "Anna Karenina" when the obvious answer is "a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want." ~ Lemony Snicket

• Bicycle riding (50 mile bike ride, here we come!)

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." ~ Albert Einstein

• Taking a picnic to the park

"We had a happy marriage because we were together all the time. We were friends as well as husband and wife. We just had a good time." ~ Julia Child

• Mixing up fun drinks (we have been meaning to make Sangria!)

"Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable." ~ G.K. Chesterton

• Baking or cooking together

"Horton, the kangaroo has sent Vlad!'

Vlad? I know two Vlads. One is a cute little bunny that brings me cookies. The other is bad Vlad. Which Vlad?'

Which one do you think?'

Bad Vlad?'

Good call."

~ Dr. Seuss

• Going hiking

"Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out going to the mountains is going home; that wilderness is a necessity..." ~ John Muir

• Watching a good musical (again, we're starting a list of good musicals in our sidebar on the right! Check it out!)

"Ah! There is nothing like staying at home, for real comfort." ~ Jane Austen

• Saying the Rosary while taking a walk and holding hands

"The Rosary is the most beautiful and the most rich in graces of all prayers; it is the prayer that touches most the Heart of the Mother of God...and if you wish peace to reign in your homes, recite the family Rosary." ~ Pope Saint Pius X

• Sending fun and goofy text messages to each other throughout the day

"Children have one kind of silliness, as you know, and grown-ups have another kind." ~ C.S. Lewis

• Reading a good children's book

"Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again." ~ C.S. Lewis

• Playing instruments (Anthony is talented on the ocarina! I on the other hand, must content myself with being a listener or humming along as I have no instrumental talents!)

"A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul." ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

• Dancing (Anthony and I have attempted the waltz a couple times through watching YouTube. We've decided actual classes are probably the more efficient approach!)

"To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love" ~ Jane Austen

• Thumb wrestling spontaneously (he always wins!)

"How you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win." ~ G.K. Chesterton

• Admiring nature's majesty (splendorous sunsets, majestic mountains, flowering fields)

"The world will never starve for want of wonders, but for want of wonder." ~ G.K. Chesterton

• Going to a coffee shop (or more specifically, an espresso shop!!!)

"I have measured out my life with coffee spoons." ~ T.S. Elliot

• Sharing dreams for the future (This one doesn't cost a dime!)

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." ~ C.S. Lewis

• Making a visit to the Blessed Sacrament

"Keep close to the Catholic Church at all times, for the Church alone can give you true peace, since she alone possesses Jesus, the true Prince of Peace, in the Blessed Sacrament." ~ Padre Pio

• Emailing each other favorite writings, quotes, or articles about various and sundry subjects 

"Without education, we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously." ~ G.K. Chesterton

• Karate chopping each other (great way to expend extra energy! I'm sure Anthony expended a lot of energy as a wee lad in karate class!)

"The best fighter is never angry." ~ Lao Tzu

• Listening to old radio shows (haven't gotten to this one yet, but it's on a list of to dos!)

"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat." ~ Albert Einstein

• Arm wrestling spontaneously (again, he always wins!)

"Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing." ~ Vince Lombardi

• Attending Mass together

"It would be easier for the world to survive without the sun than to do so without the Holy Mass." ~ Padre Pio

• Doing anything that makes you both laugh a lot!

"Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly." ~ G.K. Chesterton

It's a blessing to encounter activities and pastimes that you can enjoy and share throughout the years!

Any other ideas for the simple, innocent pleasures of life? Please share!