Life has continued on with clinicals, studying, assignments and wedding planning! Anthony and I have just started our pre-cana meetings with a priest from the Institute of Christ the King Sovereign Priest, and we are so pleased with his instruction!
Since becoming engaged, I have an increased interest in studying the vastly different, and intriguing, Martian man. I have come to learn a little more deeply about the truly inherent distinctions God placed in His human creations.
I am from a family of five girls (the majority of my 30 cousins being girls as well), and well, the habits and mannerisms of boys and the fundamental difference of communicating with boys was never particularly a strongpoint of my upbringing. We had my father, of course, but the communication involved in the father-daughter relationship is quite different from that of a beau, a fiance, or a spouse.
I must admit, even after all the reading I've done on the subject, men are still completely a mystery to me and oftentimes, in the moment, my female nature takes hold of me completely, and I act and respond as though I had never read a word about the meaning behind a man's words or actions (poor Anthony!)
Men are like rubber bands? There is actually something behind a man going to his "cave"?
A huge point in a lot of the books were that women need to know their loved and men need to know they are respected.
In the process of learning about men, I also learned a little bit more about myself! I had never really put into words some of the characteristics attributed to the female gender, from the dramatic language we tend to use to the way we tend to imply requests that a man might not pick up upon!
This song, Try a Little Tenderness, speaks volumes about the needs of women.
In the hustle of today
We’re all inclined to miss
Little things that mean so much
A word, a smile, a kiss
When a woman loves a man
He’s a hero in her eyes
And a hero he can always be
If he’ll just realize
She may be weary
Women do get weary
Wearing the same shabby dress
And when she’s weary
Try a little tenderness
You know she’s waiting
Just anticipating
Things she may never possess
But while she’s without ‘em
Try a little tenderness
It’s not just sentimental
She has her grief and care
And a word that’s soft and gentle
Makes it easier to bear
You won’t regret it
Women don’t forget it
Love is their whole happiness
It’s all so easy
Try a little tenderness
You won’t regret it
Women don’t forget it
Love is their whole happiness
It’s all so easy
Try a little tenderness
I love this version sung by Bing Crosby.
And then on top of the gender differences, you have individual personality and temperament differences! Phew!
Anthony is a melancholic-phlegmatic and I am a melancholic-choleric. When Anthony had first seen my profile on AveMariaSingles, from my writing style, he thought I might have been a bit too choleric for him. However, after meeting me, he found we were more compatible than he had first thought! Whereas I can tend to be a bit impulsive, Anth tends to like some time to mull ideas or plans over and I am slowly learning to allow him time to make decisions instead expecting immediate responses. Overall, I think our temperaments have turned out to be a beautiful balance and quite complimentary.
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| Well, I guess according to this chart, I'm emotionally unstable, which would explain my high sensitivity! Anthony is quite a pro at dealing with my temperament and emotional waves! |
I think the people who created the chart above were a bit discriminatory regarding melancholics and cholerics. I promise there are more positive characteristics than they have listed!
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| Medical/Astrological manuscript (1553), depicting the 4 Temperaments |
Seeking to understand your fiance's male attributes as well as his temperament is so helpful in daily problem solving as well as understanding his approach to the Faith.
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| As we must know God to love Him, so it is with our fiance or spouse. |
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Some Recommended Books
Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray
Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin
The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman
The Temperament God Gave You and The Temperament God Gave your Spouse by Art and Laraine Bennett
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If anyone else knows of resources on this topic, please pass them on!
Have a great end of the week! And happy feast of St. John Bosco!
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| St. John Bosco, pray for us! |
Sincerely,
Andrea Rose
Update: I found a much better summary of the four Temperaments here.
Or you can read about each one individually:
