I Just Couldn't "Skirt" the Issue of Modesty!

I have now gone over a year wearing skirts and dresses the majority of the time! Of course there are those times where practicality calls for pants, but I have really enjoyed the challenge of finding all the different activities I can pull off in a skirt!

Contemplating the inner workings of a bell...a dumbbell that is!

For a few years now, I had been searching and searching for what Catholic modesty entailed. It’s a hard subject to find a clear answer to! Where does one draw the line? I wanted to find a clear answer of “wear this” and “don’t wear that.” Unfortunately, it wasn’t that easy.

A particularly versatile green skirt I love!

Of course growing up I was always taught to wear modest dresses and skirts for Mass or in the Real Presence, but I wanted to find the “rules” that told me what to wear during the day to day goings ons! I found very general guidelines for modesty, but I kept coming across too many items when shopping that made me wonder. I wanted black and white, but all I could see were gray areas. The gray areas became hard, especially when attending a public high school. As a self conscious teenager, I often tried to balance being Catholic with blending into secular culture. My Mother played a huge part in guiding me through that often treacherous fashion field and I am so thankful now for all the clothing pieces she kept me from wearing!

My sisters and I on the grounds of the Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe in La Crosse, WI.

One of the factors in changing over to skirts completely was meeting a young Protestant girl in my physical therapy class who solely wore skirts and dresses. She would change into some modest capris for our lab classes, but often brought a change of clothes for after the lab while the rest of us would usually just go to our next classes in our dressed down sweats and tees. And her clothes were not frumpy or homely. They were beautiful and stylish!

A hat can dress up any outfit!

It made me start thinking more of how this Protestant girl was able to subtly and classily get across the point that her beliefs on modesty and the feminine nature affected the way she dressed. I wondered: since Catholicism is contains the fullness of the Truth, and since our secular culture has deviated so far from any concept of modesty, shouldn’t Catholics have a clear standard of dress that emphasized modesty?

I researched articles and books and I didn’t really find anything recent regarding the topic until I came across Dressing with Dignity by Colleen Hammond. Although I had thoughts here and there about integrating more skirts on a daily basis, a few weeks after reading this book I decided that due to my personality, it was going to be all or none. So I decided to ditch the pants as completely as I could manage and just wear skirts.

Fun accessorizing with a shawl!

Now being in physical therapy school did not make this easy. We often had labs where pants were the more appropriate and practical attire for modesty’s sake. But instead of staying in my sweats all day, I decided to start bringing along a change of clothes as well.

My dear friend and I dressed up for a fun a photo shoot!

I also have a men’s Schwinn road bike that I like to ride (it had been a gift from my Dad to my Mom when they were dating!). Due to the bar being higher, I had to problem solve the best and modest way to ride it! I enjoyed the challenge! I decided to fasten wooden clothespins to the bar in order to clip my skirt down. Then I also bought some bike capris to put on under my skirt while riding. Problem solved! Of course I had to dabble in the length of skirt, and the knee length skirts worked the best since I didn’t have a chain guard (I learned the hard way a couple of times with my longer flowing skirts!).

Artistic photo courtesy of Anthony! 

I found I could easily play volleyball in a skirt. I’ve thrown footballs and softballs, gardened, hiked, attended baseball games, riden roller coasters, interned as a physical therapy student, and even braved an entire Wisconsin winter in skirts! I realized that, with a little creativity, one could perform most activities in a skirt.

Skirts have helped me to remind myself of the feminine nature God gave me. Sometimes I find myself reverting to the tomboyish mannerisms of my youth such as sitting in an unsightly manner or acting coarsely. Well, skirts have often been a subtle reminder to me to act and speak more like a lady.

I also have less trouble finding skirts that fit me! With my particular waist and hip proportions, I can remember crying while pant shopping because I could not seem to find anything that fit properly! Now, with many of the skirt styles I like, I only have to worry about my waist size. I have found so many more beautiful skirt and dress options and I thoroughly enjoy shopping for them!

I am a big fan of boots! I'm so excited for Fall!

The line of modesty with skirts and dresses seems more black and white to me as well. Of course there are immodest skirts and dresses. However, I feel like there are more modest options out there in the realm of dresses and skirts than in the pants world. 

Sailing in a dress is quite relaxing!

There are times when choosing a pair of pants seems like it would be so much easier to coordinate with a certain shirt or shoes. Sometimes, pants seem like to more comfortable (or warmer!) option. However, taking the time to thoughtfully dress my part as a woman has taught me discipline and it also makes me feel more put together and pretty! Wearing a skirt can make a girl feel pretty and feminine even while exercising on a 30 mile bike ride!

Fifteen miles into the bike ride!

One of the rules I try to follow when dressing for the day is that I should not be ashamed to enter a church and the Presence of Our Lord in anything that I am wearing. I understand that there are different types of dress for different occasions and I have no issue of pants when it truly is the most practical and modest option for a task (honestly though, most skirts can be made modest through some additions), but I can remember day to day clothing I have worn in the past where I would have felt too embarrassed by my outfit to enter a Catholic church. I figure, since we know not the time or the hour, I want to die confident that my dress would be pleasing to Him. I strive my dress to reflect the fullness of the female human being He had created and for Him to know I intentionally thought of Him above all else in the dress I had chosen for that day. 

A beautiful skirt a friend of mine made for me. And it has pockets!

I am so elated God has blessed me with a man loves to see me in skirts! (and headscarves for that matter! But that's a topic for another blogpost!)

He is quite the catch!

A Reverent Ordinary Form Mass

I headed out of town early this morning to try to make it to confession at St. Norbert's in Roxbury. St. Norbert's is a parish staffed with priests from the Society of Jesus Christ the Priest, a Spanish society which celebrates both the ordinary and extraordinary forms of the mass. There's been a lot of controversy in the Diocese of Madison because Bishop Morlino brought these priests in to several parishes, where they proceeded to get rid of altar girls and lay eucharistic ministers, institute an extraordinary form mass, and insist on such backwards and reactionary concepts as the intrinsic evil of contraception, the teaching that one must be in the state of grace to receive communion, and the idea that we actually do have souls that actually do need saving. The biggest complaint against them seems to be that, because they emphasize Catholic teaching, they are "short on compassion." (It's never fun to have someone tell us that our behavior is wrong, is it?)

Anyway, I've been to the daily extraordinary form mass at St. Norbert's many times. Not as often as I should, though, because St. Norbert's is 35 to 40 minutes away and the mass is at 6:30 in the morning. This morning I took the lazy route, and rather than go to mass and then wait until confessions afterwards, I left late in order just to make it to confessions. Unfortunately, there had been a schedule change, and the 8:00 ordinary form mass had been moved forward to 7:30, just after I arrived. Confessions were either canceled or moved earlier, too; anyway, I got there too late. But since mass was starting I decided to stay. I knew that the priest would say a very reverent mass, and I was curious to see what the ordinary form was like when it was said by such good priests. Also, I didn't want to pass up a chance to receive communion.

It was, by far, the most reverent ordinary form mass that I have ever been to. The priest came out in traditional vestments and spoke the English (the new translation, thank goodness!) simply and clearly and without trying to "perform" it. There was no terrible folk music, and there were no lay ministers and no one batted an eyelash when I knelt for communion with my hands tucked beneath the rail. It was a marked contrast to the other ordinary form masses I have been to (one of which I came away from sincerely doubting that I had really received Our Lord in communion). But it still struck me as being watered down, a "lite" version of what it should be.

To explain why, I think I'll have to describe the extraordinary form first so I can contrast it. In the extraordinary form, the priest and the congregation face the same direction, towards the altar. The priest leads the congregation in the sacrifice of the mass, offering to the Father the once-for-all sacrifice of Calvary which is made present again on the altar. The congregation joins itself to the sacrifice. It is at once a communal act — we are united in offering Christ to His Father — and a deeply intimate, individual, prayerful one. It is difficult to describe the feeling. There is a peaceful solemnity as the priest speaks directly to God in quiet Latin. We follow along with these prayers and join ourselves to them. The focus is on God. We know that we are dealing with the profound, with something, someone infinitely higher than ourselves. It is not a belittling feeling, because we know that God is condescending to lower Himself to us, and is encouraging us to raise ourselves toward Him. The atmosphere is one of humility and hope, of wonder and a deep sense of connection to the Divine. It becomes an intensely personal and intimate union between creature and Creator, reaching is peak when we receive Him, Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity, in communion.

In the ordinary form, the sacrifice is still there, and Jesus is still truly present in the Eucharist. But the mass seems to want to turn our attention away from that. The priest faces the congregation, and everything he says is spoken loudly and directed towards us. There are many points where the congregation speaks a response. It begins to feel more like the priest is speaking to us than to God.

My impression is that the ordinary form demands less of me. The extraordinary form requires that I pay attention, that I follow along in my missal with what the priest is doing, and that I make the effort to participate through prayer in the sacrifice being enacted. The ordinary forms asks me only to sit back and listen, and to respond when necessary. Listen-and-respond strikes me as more passive than follow-along-and-pray. 

The communal aspect of the extraordinary form is one of being united in doing something. The communal aspect of the ordinary form feels more like "we are united to, well, be united." The focus is more on our communal union itself than on why that union exists. My attempts to reach a place of intimate, personal conversation with God was foiled by the many interruptions where I was expected to speak a response along with the rest of the congregation; there was never a period of quiet prayer and contemplation. I felt less like I had participated in the sacrifice of the mass and more like I had attended some kind of social prayer meeting. It is rather ironic that the very things meant to encourage active participation in the mass — the priest facing the people and more congregational responses — diminished my feeling of participation.

I think that when we hear about the importance of active participation it is important to ask, what are we participating in? If it is a gathering, a meal, then sure, we'd want everyone to be facing everyone else and everyone talking. But if it's a sacrifice, a prayer, then we want to be focused on God and on the sacrificial reality being enacted. The participation then is the union of each person to this sacrifice, and the communal aspect is all the prayers of all these souls rising together to God. I always feel deeply engaged and an active participant in the extraordinary form mass, even if I never say a word from the time I enter the church until I leave it. I have yet to feel that way in an ordinary form mass.

One more thing. All the times I've been to the extraordinary form daily mass at St. Norbert's, there have been many young people there, including many young families. It has always been inspiring to see the young mothers and their children kneeling in quiet prayer at 6:30 in the morning. Young single people attend as well. At the ordinary form mass — which, remember, is usually celebrated at 8:00, not 6:30 — there was only one person there besides me who was younger than fifty, and there were less people there overall than I am used to seeing at the extraordinary form mass. I think young Catholics, at least those who care about their Faith, are more attracted to the traditional ways of the Church.

Young Catholics today tend to do one of two things: lose the faith, or become more traditional. Those young Catholics who disagree with Church teachings don't see any reason to remain Catholic. Why would they stay in a Church that they see as behind the times, oppressive, patriarchal, homophobic, and all the other epithets tossed around these days? They lack whatever lingering brand loyalty or sentimental attachment keeps their parents showing up every Sunday despite ignoring and even actively dissenting from the teachings of the Church. But those young Catholics who see the Church as the means which Christ established to guide and nourish souls want their tea a bit stronger. They are not satisfied with a watered down Catholicism which tries to hide itself and speaks no thing clearly. They want a Catholicism that presents the reality which it possesses as clearly and truthfully as possible. They don't want to be coddled, to have their consciences assuaged, or to have the sacrifice of the mass reduced to a community get-together. They want all the spiritual riches that the Church has to offer. They want their Catholic identity to mean something again.

The Simple, Innocent Pleasures in Life

One concept that Anthony has helped to enhance in my life is the necessity of enjoying and focusing on the simple, innocent pleasures of life. Our current world stresses that to really enjoy oneself, one needs to spend money on big thrills, quick rushes, expensive vacation spots, material items and constant over stimulation. 

Well, here are some fun alternatives!: 

• Reading good books together accompanied by cups of tea, hot chocolate, or espresso (or even better, ask your better half to read the book to you! I have enjoyed many hours listening to Anthony read Don Camillo, Cheaper by the Dozen, Lord of the Rings, and the Cul-du-sac comics)

"You can never get a cup of tea large enough or a book long enough to suit me." ~ C.S. Lewis

• Going for a midnight stroll (the air is so still and the atmosphere so peaceful!)

"I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light." ~ Helen Keller

• Stargazing (there are great iPod apps out there now for this!)

"Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction." ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

• Playing board games or cards (see our sidebar of games that we will periodically update!)

"One of the world's most tiresome questions is what object one would bring to a desert island, because people always answer "a deck of cards" or "Anna Karenina" when the obvious answer is "a well equipped boat and a crew to sail me off the island and back home where I can play all the card games and read all the Russian novels I want." ~ Lemony Snicket

• Bicycle riding (50 mile bike ride, here we come!)

"Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." ~ Albert Einstein

• Taking a picnic to the park

"We had a happy marriage because we were together all the time. We were friends as well as husband and wife. We just had a good time." ~ Julia Child

• Mixing up fun drinks (we have been meaning to make Sangria!)

"Drink because you are happy, but never because you are miserable." ~ G.K. Chesterton

• Baking or cooking together

"Horton, the kangaroo has sent Vlad!'

Vlad? I know two Vlads. One is a cute little bunny that brings me cookies. The other is bad Vlad. Which Vlad?'

Which one do you think?'

Bad Vlad?'

Good call."

~ Dr. Seuss

• Going hiking

"Thousands of tired, nerve-shaken, over-civilized people are beginning to find out going to the mountains is going home; that wilderness is a necessity..." ~ John Muir

• Watching a good musical (again, we're starting a list of good musicals in our sidebar on the right! Check it out!)

"Ah! There is nothing like staying at home, for real comfort." ~ Jane Austen

• Saying the Rosary while taking a walk and holding hands

"The Rosary is the most beautiful and the most rich in graces of all prayers; it is the prayer that touches most the Heart of the Mother of God...and if you wish peace to reign in your homes, recite the family Rosary." ~ Pope Saint Pius X

• Sending fun and goofy text messages to each other throughout the day

"Children have one kind of silliness, as you know, and grown-ups have another kind." ~ C.S. Lewis

• Reading a good children's book

"Some day you will be old enough to start reading fairy tales again." ~ C.S. Lewis

• Playing instruments (Anthony is talented on the ocarina! I on the other hand, must content myself with being a listener or humming along as I have no instrumental talents!)

"A man should hear a little music, read a little poetry, and see a fine picture every day of his life, in order that worldly cares may not obliterate the sense of the beautiful which God has implanted in the human soul." ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

• Dancing (Anthony and I have attempted the waltz a couple times through watching YouTube. We've decided actual classes are probably the more efficient approach!)

"To be fond of dancing was a certain step towards falling in love" ~ Jane Austen

• Thumb wrestling spontaneously (he always wins!)

"How you think when you lose determines how long it will be until you win." ~ G.K. Chesterton

• Admiring nature's majesty (splendorous sunsets, majestic mountains, flowering fields)

"The world will never starve for want of wonders, but for want of wonder." ~ G.K. Chesterton

• Going to a coffee shop (or more specifically, an espresso shop!!!)

"I have measured out my life with coffee spoons." ~ T.S. Elliot

• Sharing dreams for the future (This one doesn't cost a dime!)

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." ~ C.S. Lewis

• Making a visit to the Blessed Sacrament

"Keep close to the Catholic Church at all times, for the Church alone can give you true peace, since she alone possesses Jesus, the true Prince of Peace, in the Blessed Sacrament." ~ Padre Pio

• Emailing each other favorite writings, quotes, or articles about various and sundry subjects 

"Without education, we are in a horrible and deadly danger of taking educated people seriously." ~ G.K. Chesterton

• Karate chopping each other (great way to expend extra energy! I'm sure Anthony expended a lot of energy as a wee lad in karate class!)

"The best fighter is never angry." ~ Lao Tzu

• Listening to old radio shows (haven't gotten to this one yet, but it's on a list of to dos!)

"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat." ~ Albert Einstein

• Arm wrestling spontaneously (again, he always wins!)

"Winning is habit. Unfortunately, so is losing." ~ Vince Lombardi

• Attending Mass together

"It would be easier for the world to survive without the sun than to do so without the Holy Mass." ~ Padre Pio

• Doing anything that makes you both laugh a lot!

"Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly." ~ G.K. Chesterton

It's a blessing to encounter activities and pastimes that you can enjoy and share throughout the years!

Any other ideas for the simple, innocent pleasures of life? Please share!

Beauty

Hi everyone, Anthony here. I'm the lucky guy who is engaged to, as you can see from this photo, the most beautiful girl in the world. :)

Cue smug Anthony look. I'm no doubt thinking, 

"Yeah, I got the most beautiful girl in the world, all right."

Sometimes it staggers me. I think, "How in the world did I get Andrea?" I think of all the complaining I used to do to God when I was so anxious to find my future wife, and I can just picture Him up there laughing, saying, "Cool it, Anthony. You have no idea who I've got in store for you!"

The greatest thing about Andrea is that she is even more beautiful on the inside than on the outside. The more I get to really know her, the more I discover her soul — her very herness — and the more beautiful she becomes.

That beauty lies in her love of God. 

God is Beauty. Thomas Aquinas teaches that, at their highest level, Beauty, Goodness, and Truth are all One. They are all the same thing, and convertible one into another. This is because they are all properties of Being Himself, of God, the only being whose properties are identical with His essence. God is Beauty, Goodness, and Truth. And so all beauty in the world is a pointer back to its source, Beauty Himself, and whatever is closest to that source is most beautiful. Physical beauty is a real beauty, since it reflects the goodness of a created being operating as God intended it to. But it is a limited beauty, a finite and decaying beauty. A tree is beautiful, but it will eventually wither. So too will anyone's physical beauty. But a deeper beauty lies in the soul's connection to Beauty Himself. If, even while the body withers, the soul grows towards Him, that person will grow in beauty to those who can see. That's why Mother Teresa was far more beautiful than, say, Kim Kardashian will probably ever be (poor girl).

Beauty

By loving Beauty Himself, Andrea reflects His beauty. Her soul takes on some of His brightness, the way the moon reflects the light of the sun and shines with a beauty that at one and the same time is wholly its own and wholly the sun's, since without the sun it could have no beauty at all.

Now, don't worry. I am fully aware that Andrea is human (sometimes I wonder if she knows that I am, though!). We are both very much works in progress. We aren't saints by any stretch of the imagination. And so I don't expect her to be perfect. 

But I know that Andrea loves God. 

These days, we mostly reduce love to feelings and a general niceness. But love is more robust than that. Feelings are wonderful, and niceness is, well, nice, but love is ultimately in the will. It is manifest most of all in deeds. Andrea's fidelity to God and to His Church demonstrates her love of Him. 

I'm incredibly lucky to have found a girl who loves God enough to be faithful to all His teachings, and not to pick and choose the ones that appeal most to Her. Nowadays, that kind of total fidelity is hard. When the whole world is screaming at you to go with the flow, it takes someone very special to stand firmly for everything that God has taught us through His Church.

And so I am definitely a lucky guy. Not only is Andrea obviously very beautiful physically, but I know that her beauty will never fade, because she is beautiful on the inside as well. As long as I have eyes to see that — and I pray every day that I always will — I will always be married to the most beautiful girl in the world.

Introduction

Dear fellow bloggers and browsers,

This is Andrea writing and welcome to our blog!

Anthony and I had talked about starting a blog, as we have many opinions regarding our day and age that just must be discussed! And we have many opinions regarding the past... and the future... and well, I guess we're opinionated in general. Some of our opinions are convictions and some are personal preference, pending the topic of course! And some of our convictions happen to be (by the grace of God!) in line with age old Truths! Pretty amazing and incredible if you ask me! More on that later!

A tidbit regarding Anthony and I: we are engaged to be married! And best of all, we are engaged to be married in the One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church! Which makes it eternally better and more infinitely exciting!

Ah, the possibilities! Homemaking, discovering the joys of giving and sacrifice, innocent pleasures, bundles of babies, reading stories, daily adventures, never ending suspense, teaching and helping little souls to grow into Saints!

And, in addition, as husband and wife, we have the privilege of being partners in crime in this insane world! For much of what we hold dear and much of what we value is, and will be, be looked upon as criminal and certifiable. In such an insane world, I am so grateful God sent me Anthony, an answer to my long held prayers. I shall gloat more about Anthony’s Saint making abilities at a later time, but let’s suffice to say I am very, very blessed!

Our journey to this point has been quite a trip in my opinion! I won’t describe too much about us to begin, as I feel you will come to know our individual temperaments and personalities quite well through our ramblings, insights, stories, and rants.

I am going to leave it to Anthony to begin our tale, as he is the true writer between us. And as it happens to be, the beginning is often the most difficult part to write.

Most sincerely,

Andrea