Sorry for the bit of delay in blog material! Life has been busy for the both of us of late. My internship keeps me occupied from 5:30am until I arrive back home at 7:00pm or 8:00pm! Anthony's also been quite occupied with work himself as well as his many writing projects.
September 30th, 2012 Anthony and I had our engagement blessed through a betrothal ceremony by Fr. John Richetta. Although not a requirement of the Church, we thought it would be wonderful to have the extra graces during this period of engagement! I have included the general outline of the Engagement Ceremony at the very end of this post.
And here are some photos from the day!
During the Engagement Ceremony
With Father Richetta
With my Nana
With my Parents who did so much to make it such a special day!
(It's times like these we really wish Anthony's family was closer!)
My Aunt took some beautiful photos of us afterwards.
With the Holy Family
In other news we recently made a trip to The Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe for the Traditional Catholic wedding of two wonderful people. If you haven't visited the Shrine yet, I would highly recommend putting it on your list! The High Mass was breathtaking, the reception elegant, the food delicious (not surprising since the groom is a chef), and the entertainment delightful.
On our way walking up to the Shrine. It's about a ten minute walk up a beautiful path through trees and religious statues. There is an outdoor Stations of the Cross and Rosary Walk. Inside the church, you can see many side altars with relics of various Saints.
I was able to meet Anthony's sister-in-law (who was the matron of honor) and her eight month old son for the first time (it was actually the first time Anthony had met his nephew as well!). It is really great being able to meet more and more of Anthony's family since they're so spread out! I am so grateful for the family that helped make Anthony who he is and I couldn't be marrying into a more faithful, devout and fun family!
Well that's all for the time being!
Please keep us in your prayers! There are many items yet to fall into place for our wedding!
Best wishes and God bless,
Andrea
Engagements--In Church
NOTE: This article was written while the old Code of Canon Law was in effect. Canon
1062 of the new Code states: A promise of marriage, whether unilateral or
bilateral, called an engagement, is governed by the particular law which the
Episcopal Conference has enacted, after consideration of such customs and civil
laws as may exist. While there is no obligation to have a betrothal
ceremony some Catholics may desire to do so. This article is provided to offer
suggestions for those interested in becoming engaged in church.
An age-old and excellent engagement
ceremony is found in Father Weller's translation of the Roman Ritual.1 The Queen's Work reproduces the rite in a pamphlet published by this
writer under the title: Your Engagement
Should Be in Church,2 as does the Catholic University in the author's doctoral
dissertation: The Betrothal Contract in
the Code of Canon Law.3
In the Oriental Church, both the
contract and the ceremony have been ordinary practice for centuries. Recent
codification of Eastern marriage legislation specifically treats of solemn
espousals in canons six and seven of the newly codified oriental law.4
Betrothment Defined
From Roman law sources, espousals
were always understood as "the mention and promise of future
marriage."5 Pope Nicholas I defined them as "pacts of promise of
future marriage."6 The Code of Canon Law today regards betrothals as either
bilateral or unilateral contracts, accordingly as they are mutually agreed on
by both parties or made by one and accepted by the other party.7 St. Thomas referred to the
engagement as a "quasi-sacramental."8
The Engagement Ceremony
Officially speaking, there is no
prescribed ritual for betrothals. Since, however, the engagement is so closely
allied with the Sacrament of Matrimony, it is most fitting that it take place
in church, preferably at the communion railing. Because Father Weller includes
the ceremony in his translation of the Roman Ritual, it would be wise to adopt
it. The Holy See does not permit the introduction of any new liturgical
ceremonies on private authority. The ceremony is as follows:
1. The priest (vested in surplice and white stole) with his assistants
(vested in surplice) awaits the couple at the communion table. At hand are the
stoup with holy water and the altar missal. As the man and woman come forward
with the two witnesses they have chosen, the following antiphon and psalm are
sung on the eighth psalm tone:
Antiphon: To the Lord I will tender my
promise: in the presence of all His people.
Psalm 126
Unless the house be of the Lord's
building, in vain do the builders labor.
Unless the Lord be the guard of the
city, 'tis in vain the guard keeps his sentry.
It is futile that you rise before
daybreak, to be astir in the midst of darkness,
Ye that eat the bread of hard labor;
for He deals bountifully to His beloved while they are sleeping.
Behold, offspring result from God's
giving, a fruitful womb the regard of His blessing.
Like arrows in the hand of the
warrior, are children begotten of a youthful father.
Happy the man who has filled
therewith his quiver; they shall uphold him in contending at the gate with his
rival.
Glory be to the Father and to the
Son, and to the Holy Spirit.
As it was in the beginning, is now,
and forever, through endless ages. Amen.
Antiphon: To the Lord I will tender my
promise: in the presence of all His people.
2. The priest now addresses them:
Allocution
Beloved of Christ: It is in the
dispensation of Divine Providence that you are called to the holy vocation of
marriage. For this reason, you present yourselves today before Christ and His
Church, before His sacred minister and the devout people of God, to ratify in
solemn manner the engagement bespoken between you. At the same time you entreat
the blessing of the Church upon your proposal, as well as the earnest
supplications of the faithful here present, since you fully realize that what
has been inspired and guided by the will of your heavenly Father requires
equally His grace to be brought to a happy fulfillment. We are confident that
you have given serious and prayerful deliberation to your pledge of wedlock;
moreover, that you have sought counsel from the superiors whom God has placed
over you. In the time that intervenes, you will prepare for the sacrament of
matrimony by a period of virtuous courtship, so that when the happy and blessed
day arrives for you to give yourselves irrevocably to each other, you will have
laid a sound spiritual foundation for long years of godly prosperity on earth
and eventual blessedness together in the life to come. May the union you
purpose one day to consummate as man and wife be found worthy to be in all
truth a sacramental image and reality of the union of Christ and His beloved
Bride, the Church. This grant, thou Who livest and reignest, God, forever and
evermore.
R. Amen.
3. The priest now bids the couple to join their right hands, while they
repeat after him the following:
The man:
In the name of our Lord, I, N.N.,
promise that I will one day take thee, N.N., as my wife, according to the
ordinances of God and holy Church. I will love thee even as myself. I will keep
faith and loyalty to thee, and so in thine necessities aid and comfort thee;
which things and all that a man ought to do unto his espoused I promise to do
unto thee and to keep by the faith that is in me.
The woman:
In the name of our Lord, I, N.N., in
the form and manner wherein thou hast promised thyself unto me, do declare and
affirm that I will one day bind and oblige myself unto thee, and will take
thee, N.N„ as my husband. And all that thou hast pledged unto me I promise to
do and keep unto thee, by the faith that is in me.
4. Then the priest takes the two ends of his stole and in the form of a
cross places them over the clasped hands of the couple. Holding the stole in
place with his left hand, he says: I bear witness of your solemn proposal and I declare you
betrothed. In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
Amen. As he pronounces the last words, he sprinkles them with holy water in the
form of a cross.
5. Thereupon he blesses the engagement ring:
V.
Adjutorium nostrum in nomine Domini.
R. Qui fecit
caelum et terram.
V. Domine,
exaudi orationem meam.
R. Et clamor
meus ad te veniat.
V. Dominus
vobiscum.
R. Et cum
spiritu tuo.
Oremus:
Omnipotent Deus, creator et conservator humani generis, ac largitor aeternae
salutis, permitte digneris Spiritum sanctum Paraclitum super hunc annulum. Per
Dominum nostrum Jesum Christum, Filium tuum: Qui tecum vivit et regnat in
unitate Spiritus Sancti Deus, per omnia saecula saeculorum.
R. Amen.
Et aspergatur aqua benedicta.
V. Our help
is in the name of the Lord.
R. Who made
heaven and earth.
V. O Lord,
hear my prayer.
R. And let
my cry come unto thee.
V. The Lord
be with you.
R. And with
thy spirit.
Let us pray:
O God Almighty, Creator and
preserver of the human race, and the Giver of everlasting salvation, deign to
allow the Holy Spirit, the Consoler to come with His blessing upon this ring.
Through our Lord, Jesus Christ, thy Son, who liveth and reigneth with thee in
the unity of the Holy Spirit God, for endless ages.
R. Amen.
The ring is sprinkled with holy
water.
6. The man takes the ring and places it first on the index finger of the
left hand of the woman, saying: In the name of the Father, (then on the middle finger, adding): and of the Son; (finally placing and leaving it on the ring
finger, he concludes): and of the Holy Spirit.
7. The priest opens the missal at the beginning of the Canon, and presents
the page imprinted with the crucifixion to be kissed first by the man and then
by the woman.
8. If Mass does not follow (or even if Mass is to follow, if he deems it
opportune), the priest may read the following passages from Sacred Scripture:
Tobias 7:8
Tobias said: I will not eat nor
drink here this day, unless thou first grant me my petition, and promise to
give me Sara thy daughter… The angel said to Raguel: Be not afraid to give her
to this man, for to him who feareth God, is thy daughter due to be his wife;
therefore another could not have her… And Raguel taking the right hand of his
daughter, he gave it unto the right hand of Tobias, saying: The God of Abraham,
and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob be with you, and may He join you
together, and fulfill His blessing in you. And taking paper they made a writing
of the marriage. And afterwards they made merry, blessing God… Then Tobias
exhorted the virgin, and said to her: Sara, arise, and let us pray to God
today, and tomorrow, and the next day; because for these three nights we are
joined to God; and when the third night is over, we will be in our own wedlock.
For we are children of saints, and must not be joined together like heathens
that know not God. So they both arose, and prayed earnestly both together that
health might be given them.
R. Thanks be to God.
John 15:4-12
At that time, Jesus said to His
disciples: Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of
itself, unless it abide in the vine, so neither can you, unless you abide in
me. I am the vine; you are the branches. He that abideth in me, and I in him,
the same beareth much fruit; for without me you can do nothing. If any one
abide not in me, he shall be cast forth as a branch, and shall wither, and they
shall gather him up, and cast him into the fire, and he burneth. If you abide
in me, and my words abide in you, you shall ask whatever you will, and it shall
be done unto you. In this is my Father glorified; that you bring forth very
much fruit, and become my disciples. As the Father hath loved me, I also have
loved you. Abide in my love. If you keep my commandments, you shall abide in my
love; as I also have kept my Father's commandments, and do abide in His love.
These things I have spoken to you, that my joy be in you, and your joy may be
filled. This is my commandment, that you love one another, as I have loved you.
R. Praise be to thee, O Christ!
9. Lastly, the priest extends his hands over the heads of the couple and
says:
May God bless your bodies and your
souls. May He shed His blessing upon you as He blessed Abraham, Isaac, and
Jacob. May the hand of the Lord be upon you, may He send His holy Angel to
guard you all the days of your life. Amen. Go in peace!
Competency Of Bishops And Pastors
Except for the "local
ordinary" (the bishop and the vicar-general), only the pastor is officially competent to witness a betrothal
contract.13 Delegation to another priest, even
the assistant in the parish, is disallowed in code law.14 However, any priest may act as a private witness, provided another
private witness signs the contract with him, lay or clerical.15
In the absence of positive
legislation, any priest may likewise assist at the liturgical ceremony described above, since the
ritual is not mandatory.16
Advantages Of The Engagement
Priests would do well to encourage a Solemn Betrothal and discourage marriage, if possible, when:
1. Military
service will separate the groom from his bride very shortly after, if not
before, the marriage. An engagement in church will insure fidelity and a
partner (to a degree at least) without the inexorable and permanent effects
produced by matrimony.
2. Pursuit
of higher education is contemplated by one or both of the contractants.
Experience points to the hardships, material and moral, accompanying student
husbands, wives and parents.
3.
Immaturity, emotional, physical and moral, present in either or both parties.
The engagement can serve as a useful period conducive to the necessary growth
of the still infantile and puerile couple.
4.
Uncertainty and vacillation experienced by either party in regard to the choice
of consort, the willingness to assume the burdens of the married state here and
now, or the like.
5. Well
grounded fears harbored by any of the parties, the pastor and parents included,
about the outcome and success of the marriage.
There is much to be gained and
little to be lost by an engagement--in church.
Chester Wrzaszczak
Endnotes
1
The Roman Ritual, translated by Weller (Milwaukee: Bruce), I, 583-593.
2 Chester Wrzaszczak, Your Engagement Should be in Church (St
Louis: The Queen's Work), pp. 22-29.
3 Chester Wrzaszczak, The Betrothal Contract in the Code of Canon
Law (Washington, D. C.: CUA Press), pp. 154-159.
4 Canon 6, # 1: "The promise of marriage, even though bilateral,
or in the nature of a mutual espousal, is null in both fora, unless made before
5 Momsen, Digesta Iustiana Augusti (Berlin), I, 656, n. 1.
6
Responsa, ad Consulta Bulgarum, C. III (Paris: Mansi), XV, 402.
7 Canon 1017, # 1.
8 Suppl. q. 43, art. 1, ad 6.
